'C'est ne pas facile la vie d'artise'

This theme is based on one of my favorite quotes. My best friend at my late teens until mid 20's was a french guy named Steve. He was also a motorcross racer that has lived in Italy for most of his career riding for a team over there. 

As he was a bit older then me and was riding one of his last years of his active career he came back to live in Belgium - Wallonie.  (Its the mountain part of Belgium). He do had lived a few months at the beach to, so that year i went a lot on the other side of the country to train with him. From 2012 until 2017 we rode in the same team. As i was at the start of my career at the age of 17 and he was more at the end of his, we found each other. We became verry close friends and he had killed me a few times on his 'terril'- mountain. That mountain was so steep. I remember crawling on hands and feet with my bicycle on my back being angry as f*ck because he was already at the top. I didn't realise he had an adventage of 8 years over me. And it the age of 17 its a verry big difference x).

I spent a lot of time living with him in the off-seasons (its when there are no races in the wintermonths) and during the motorcross season we rode at the same races. 

As he lived with his mother again in the beginning, i slept in his motorhome outside at their driveway. Later he bought an extra bed for me in his appartment for when i came in the weekends. As we where together living for our sport dealing with the struggle of life at the search for girls and freedom => We'd say c'est ne pas facile la vie d'artiste. (The life of an artist is not easy)

As we where already always on the road away from home living in our motorhomes and vans for our sport, that quote was quite fitting well.

I remember arriving at his house with my yellow van to go on a trip together. He punched my arm because of my car was yellow. (He rode with a red bike, so we where always making fun of each others brand color) 

We drove 1200km together playing that game, everytime we spotted a yellow car we'd punched each other arms. By the time we arrived our arms where as yellow as the cars  

In the last 4 years we lost contact a bit. Until 2020 we saw each other a few times but as i was going thru a verry weird fase of my life it faded. My ex girlfriend had never said a word to steve, as she didn't like him. 

These must have been one of the first signs that relationship wasn't for me. Coming back from Barcelona, i felt like i could handle the world. After experiancing this kind of relation with a person, i was finaly ready for my team. I felt how it was and i was SO ready for it.

Still looking everything in perspective from my high Barcelona cloud i decided to step in this relation in the search for a simular connection (i realise now). In the beginning we do had a realy fun time, she came to live with me verry fast as i moved to the city. Still in my fun state of mind living at 200miles an hour, i decided to take the racing part of my life at the side and take FUN as the most important part. 

Later it changed, i tried, she tried but i just didn't feel the same. To stay in the theme, shortly said: we spoke the same language, but not the same language.. thats pretty much it. I went a lot back to my parents just to escape for a while. I started to do VERRY long bycicle training rides just to found clearness and rest in my head.

I lost a lot of friends in that periode, started to gain weight, and for the first time in my life i quite racing.

Even didn't wear my FOX clothing anymore, i thought it was just me becoming older. But it was me being in the wrong place.

I also bought cats while im actualy a dog person. It was weird. I didn't felt supported in my buisiness, and it felt more and more like a hold up. At the beginning of this year i realised i wasn't there with my head anymore. And to be honest i actualy never was.

***To Be Continued as this page is still under construction.***